Forced Family Fun - rated PG

As many of you know, every Tuesday night is Family dinner night at my parents' house. It is something that deep down we all enjoy, but we make fun of alot. We had our first family night in 6 weeks last week. (my parents had been away) Usually there are alot of laughs and many more inappropriate comments, but last week's shenanigans took the cake. I hope I can communicate it well. We were all enjoying our dinner and listening to my dad recount his vacation in Florida. He mentioned the three rules of life that he had heard from someone. One was to always stop at a bathroom when you pass one. (I think these were geared towards seniors) Then he said the other one, which I forget and then he started in with the third one, "Never waste a..." and my mother put up her hand to stop him. Now, we McLouds know that if Mom stops him, we do not press further. But, my wonderful, yet inexperienced with family night husband, keeps pressing him to finish his sentence. We thought we were safe when my sister started another conversation, but my dad says, in his "quiet voice" which is no longer quiet due to some hearing loss, "Joel, hard on!" To hear my dad say those words was beyond funny. We are all hysterical laughing except for my brother-in-law. He is acting all offended-like. Then he says, "There is a classier way to say that, you know." So we all look at him waiting for this classy term and he says. "Sporting wood!" AND he was serious! Well, now we are laughing even harder - Joel had to actually leave the room. Good thing we were about done with dinner otherwise there would have been choking and drink coming out the nose. Fun times, fun times.
I hope this isn't one of those you-had-to-be-there stories.
Tune in this week as we celebrate Becka's 29th birthday at Family dinner night.