Did you Have a Good Summer?

No, actually, I didn't. That's what I want to say to all these parents and teachers who ask as we are starting school again. But, as with most people (myself included, unfortunately), they don't really have the desire to hear anything other than, "It was great. How about you?" I guess parts of my summer were good, it wasn't all terrible, but for the most part it was the most difficult summer I have ever had. I experienced loss in many different ways, the most significant being the loss of my mom. I struggled with things I never thought I would have to deal with. I made a really great friend in my neighborhood...and then she moved. Blah, blah, blah... So, yeah, it was a really bad summer. But, I know that God is faithful and that He is working in me and that someday I will be able to look back at this summer and see what He was doing and why. The good parts of the summer? I was able to stay home with my kids and take care of two other sweet kids and spend lots of time doing fun things like going to the pool, beach, playground, farmer's market, etc. I got a really good tan! I lost 10 lbs. (Granted, it was from stress and anxiety, but I'll take it!) So, there were some good times in there, too.
School has started back up. My first day was yesterday and the kids' first day was today. They are both going to full day preschool three days a week. They were so excited. Oliver was excited to be the big brother and take care of Morgan and show her around. Morgan was excited to go, as long as she was with Ollie. She said to me this morning, "So, Mrs. Todd will like me. She will look at me and say 'That is not Morgan, that is a pretty princess." I have to admit to shedding a few tears as they left. I am grateful for the time alone to actually complete a thought without being interrupted, but I will miss their little faces. Here's what I would like to accomplish on the days they are at school: go to the gym, read my Bible, clean and organize the apartment, purge their toys, get dinners organized and prepared ahead of time, prepare my Sunday School lessons, work on planning for the Women's Banquet at church, sew. Obviously, I won't get to all of this today, but these are my goals for the year. Hey, maybe I will even blog more often.
The start of the school year always signifies a fresh start for me. So, here's to leaving the summer behind and starting afresh!

Sigh

What a busy, exhausting weekend. My mom passed away last week and we just finished up with all the services today. I can finally sit down alone and breathe. Not sure I like the stillness that much, though. Now I am able to comprehend more of what went on. Seems like time has stood still since the moment we got the phone call last tuesday saying she was gone. It's hard to imagine that other things happened in the world during these last few days. Didn't everyone's world stop the moment she left it? I know mine did. It's hard to condense all the feelings and experiences I have had in these last few days. Ranging from fear and anger and deep sadness to peace and joy and pride. I am so, so proud of my family. I loved that we were able to be together for our Family Dinner Night one more time, I love that we all turned right back around and went back as soon as we got the call that she was gone, I love that we toasted my mom with anisette (with the pastors, too!) , I love that we all cried and laughed and reminisced and cried some more together. I love that we can still tease my dad and laugh with him even in the hardest of times. I am amazed, but not surprised that nearly 700 people came through at the wake. What a testimony to my mom and what a hardship for our feet!
There are so many different aspects of our experience. How the kids handled it, how the adults handled it...so many stories and blessings. I don't even think I could recount them all.
I am feeling so much peace about my mom's passing. She wasn't herself these past few months. It wasn't how she wanted to live. She wanted to cook and play "garbage man" with my kids and read books to them and watch Bob the Builder with them. She wanted to go to church and then go out for breakfast at the Venetian. She wanted to go shopping with me at Kohl's and go to the kids' concerts and recitals. I am so thankful that I know without a doubt that she is whole again. Someone at the wake said that after she got her hug from Jesus in Heaven, the first thing she asked was "Now, where's the kitchen? And, where are all the babies?" Not sure how theologically sound this is, but I like to think of her up there making sauce for all the saints and rocking all the babies. And, also seeking out Noah and getting the full story from him.
But, along with the joy is also a deep sense of sadness. You see, my mom was my best friend, my confidant, my shopping buddy, someone I knew would always be proud of me no matter what. I need her. How can I raise my kids without her? How can my kids grow up without the love of Grammie, a love like no other? I will do my best to uphold her memory and talk of her often - but it's not the same as the real thing. I miss her.

Comfort

Morgan fell asleep in my arms tonight. Can't remember the last time that has happened. But, I found it so soothing. I've been having a rough time lately - lots of junk going on (I'll get into that later.)- and tonight I was feeling especially down. I was sitting here in front of the computer to turn my brain off for a while and she crawled up here next to me. I could tell she was tired because she was quiet. Usually she is asking questions, telling stories, just talking to hear herself talk. So, I asked her if she wanted me to hold her. She climbed right up and snuggled right in. I think she was asleep in minutes. I didn't want to put her down. She's so snuggly and warm and delicious. I rubbed her soft back, her silky hair until finally she shifted position and woke up a bit wanting to be more comfy in her bed. I reluctantly brought her in and now I sit here alone. But, I am so much calmer. It's amazing how that happens. Thank you, God, for the treasure of my children; they are your greatest gift to me.

I'm Sure I Can Contribute

Seen this? Now this is a funny website. The captions are what make it so funny. Go back to the earlier entries, it's worth the time. I laughed out loud. Love the "permullet"!!

The Power of Target

Why is it that I can never go to Target without leaving with a bag full of things I don't really need but at the time feel like I can't live without? Apparently, I am not the only person with this issue. I put something about it on my Facebook status and got many, many comments. One person said it is like a drug, another that they call it the $100 store. It's SO true! (Though, I did keep it under the $100 mark yesterday) Maybe it is because some of the deals are so good, that you load up on good deals which turns into not a good deal. I went in yesterday with two things to buy - swimmies for Morgan (because apparently she eats hers or something - this is pair number 3!) and a plastic bin for Oliver's Mighty World set (which happens to be the coolest toy sets ever. I like them better than Playmobil.) I left with swimmies for Morgan, a bin for Ollie, a skirt for myself, flip flops for Oliver (which means we will instantly find the other one that we lost), a bathing suit for each kid (because you can never have enough bathing suits with a pool), a fishing game for the pool (what good is a pool without pool toys?), nail polish remover, face wash, body wash, and pocket packs of tissues. And I thought I was doing so well. I guess I have to realize that when it comes to Target I have NO self control. Well, I have SOME, I guess, I did say no to the flip flops for myself, a new bathing suit for myself, and a few other things. (Notice how it is all things for myself? Ever the martyr.)
So, what's the deal with Target? Are they sending us subliminal messages in the Muzak? Are they drugging us? What do you think?

Girl Day

On Tuesdays and Thursdays this year, Morgan and I have been having "Girl Day" while Oliver goes to school. Some days we would do something special, just the two of us, and other days would be the regular routine at home, but with just the girls. We both loved having these days and Morgan would ask every time I was getting Ollie ready for school, "Is today gorl day?" This Tuesday was Oliver's last day of school, therefore our last girl day. Morgan will be in school with Oliver next year, so this may be our last girl day for a while. I decided to take her out for a special day together. We started off with breakfast at Strawberry Fair restaraunt. Morgan had french toast and I had the usual corn bread french toast. Yummm. We colored together and chatted and I answered her million questions. It was nice to have uninterrupted time with her. Then we went home and made plans for our next move. She really wanted to go to the pool, but it was cloudy and a bit windy, so we opted for a walk at Webb Park. My favorite place of all time. We brought our pails and shovels, but ended up walking the beach and collecting sea glass. She really got into it, squealing with delight each time she found a piece. Good thing there was alot there.
From there we headed to Grammie's house so Emilee could babysit while I went to work. What a fun day! Here are some pictures.

I Did It.

And now I can't stop! Yesterday, I made two I Spy Bags and now I am obsessed! The possibilities are endless. And, they are rather simple so I can crank them out in a short time. I am thinking of all the different ways these could be made. Thematic ones with fabric and doo-dads that coordinate, wallet-sized ones with a key ring attached so they can be hooked onto a back pack or travel bag, my mind is reeling with possibilities. These are so going to be my trademark birthday gifts now. Love them.

My Next Prooject

I've decided that I just HAVE to make time for more sewing projects. I read Sarah's blog and all the blogs she links to with envy. I am just dying to make things. Time has been hard to come by around here, though. But, I saw these on one of Sarah's links and now I am dying to make one. What a cool gift idea. We made something similar at work with rice and a plastic bottle, but the bags are just adorable. Maybe these will be my new trademark birthday gifts.
Only a few more weeks of school left for me and one more week for Oliver, so things may slow down a bit. I'll be babysitting this summer so maybe I can incorporate sewing projects into each week! (Who am I kidding...I'll be at the pool every day!)

Cuteness

Watch out, you may not be able to stop watching this. I could watch it all day.

Statue of Liberty

I had a great conversation with Oliver today.
O: Mommy,what does liberty mean?
Mommy: It means freedom.
O: What does freedom mean?
M: It means that you get to make your own choices about things. In some countries the president tells people what they should do, like where to go to church and where to live, but in our country we get to make our own choices.
O: (brief pause) Then why don't we get to choose our own seat at a restaurant?
Love this kid!

Clean. Entertain. Rinse. Repeat

This has been a week of cleaning and entertaining at our place and I LOVE it! I really like entertaining and had been frustrated by our lack of space at the old apartment. Now we have the space and I can enjoy having company again. Tuesday was Oliver's birthday. My little boy is four. We had his party over in the resident lounge. It was so much fun! It rained, but it still worked out fine. Thank goodness for my sister the teacher who helped fill in the time gaps with fun games. Then, Tuesday night we had Family Dinner Night at our place. I must say, it was a success. We had make-your-own grilled cheese. I bought a variety of cheeses and breads and bacon and ham and tomatoes. Everyone got to build their own sandwiches and then I cooked them up. Add some french fries and chips and pickles and it was a great meal! So, Wednesday we regrouped from the party and dinner and cleaned up again to get ready for having my small group friends over from Mom's Together. (We also enjoyed a visit from Jennifer Wed. night who decided to stay for pizza!) Four women (and 7 kids!) came over for brunch. It was nice to chat and watch the kids play and not feel rushed to go to work. So, now I go to clean again! No more company planned for a while, I think. Though, I do love the thought that we are able to have impromptu guests without having to worry about what the apt. looks like.
I think today I will switch out the winter clothes and bring out the shorts. Weather man says 80 degrees this weekend! Woo hoo!

Funny Curl

Morgan has always had this funny curl in her hair. When she was little I used to think it was a Cheerio stuck in her hair because it was so blonde and so perfectly round. Now that her hair is longer, it is still very blonde, but it is a spot of frizzy curl. The rest of her hair is shiny and just curly at the ends, except for this one piece. I love it. It is such a good description of my girl. To most people she is a quiet, sweet little girl. But every so often, mostly at home, she has a streak of spunk and wildness. I hope she always keeps this. The curl and the spunk.

Bone...errrrr....

Sometimes my kids say the funniest things that also happen to be completely inappropriate, but in their case also completely innocent. This morning I woke up to one of these occasions and laughed until I cried. What a way to wake up. Ok, here goes:
Oliver is very into anything that has to do with going to the doctor, x-rays, body parts, surgery, etc. So this morning while he is laying in bed with me, he says with astonishment in his voice, "Mommy, I found a bone in my pee-pee!" Now we all know that sometimes boys wake up with a little, umm, shall we say happiness and I can only assume this was the case this morning. He continued on to tell me that he will have to look up on his computer what that bone is called. At this point I was still half-asleep so I was just mumbling, "Uh-huh, ok" But then after I processed what he was saying, I had him tell Daddy all about this new bone that he found. So he says, "Daddy, I had my hands in my underwear this morning and I found a bone in my pee-pee!!" Joel was trying so hard not to laugh, but me, on the other hand, I was laughing and crying and snorting uncontrollably. Thankfully, Oliver was quickly distracted by his other bones, like his ribs and legs, etc. but wow was that funny. What do you think, too embarrassing for his baby book?

An Interview with Ollie and Morgan

I saw this interview on So the Fish Said and thought it was cute. Here are my kids' answers.

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
O: Bambi M: No!

2. What makes mommy happy?
O: When I walk Chloe (the dog we were dog sitting) M: Play with my buttons

3. What makes mommy sad?
O:When we don't kiss you when you want us to M: When I go under the table

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
O: When you jump M: When you get afraid.

5. What did your mommy like to do when she was a child?
O: She liked to be naughty. M: Be naughty.

6. How old is your mommy ?
O: I don't know. M:I don't know.

7. How tall is your mommy ?
O: 1...2..3...4...5...inches. M: Super neat.

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
O: M:(in unison) Bob the Builder

9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
O: Have girl day with MoMo (morgan) M: Look for me.

10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
O: I don't know what famous means. Tell me what famous means and then I will tell you.

11. What is your mommy really good at?
O: Watching CSI

M: Catching germs.

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
O: Not liking us.

M: Catching flowers

13. What does your mommy do for her job?
O: After-care work

M: Spank me.

14. What is your mommy 's favorite food?
O: Cheddar Cheese, actually pizza

M: Pizza

15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
O: When you try new things.

M: Go potty.

16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
O: I don't know, Winnie-the-pooh?

M: A cooker man.

17. What do you and your mommy do together?
O: We bam.

M: Play daddy's guitar.

18. How are you and your mommy the same?
O: When we wear the same things.

M: We don't.

19. How are you and your mommy different?
O: When we not wear the same clothes.

M: No answer.

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
O: When you hug me and kiss me and go in time out.

M:Hug and kiss you.

21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
O: I don't know. M: Love him.

22. Where is your mommy 's favorite place to go?
O: The Venetian (restaurant) M: To the museum

It's Time

I feel like I have been doing really well with dealing with the onslaught if gray hairs on my head. Telling myself that it doesn't matter, etc. But lately I've been toying with the idea of coloring it again. Maybe because my birthday is coming up, maybe just because I need a haircut and am unhappy with my hair anyway, I don't know. BUT, today, someone referred to me as "that lady with the gray hair." I think I might be making a visit to CVS to pick up some hair dye this weekend. (Don't worry Sarah, I'll skip the Natural Instincts!)

Just One Bite

We've been trying to get Oliver to try some new foods lately. He has a pretty limited repertoire of meals: toast with butter, toast with cream cheese, cinnamon toast, toast with jelly, loaded toast - a combo of some or all of the above, bagels, chicken nuggets, apples, applesauce, grilled cheese, cheese sticks, cheddar cheese, pretzels with ranch dressing or yogurt. None of the typical kid food like pasta or pizza. Occasionally I can get him to eat chicken with barbecue sauce. So, anyway, we've decided that it is time to really start pushing him to try some new things. We made a sticker chart and decided he could earn a new computer game with trying just three new things. At first he was enthusiastic, even naming the things he could try, but when push comes to shove he doesn't want to do it. He even decided that he doesn't want that computer game after all. So now what? We have no leverage, he has no motivation.
Tonight I made macaroni and cheese and Joel and I decided to have him try one bite before he could leave the table. The little stinker sat there for about 40 minutes with no bite!! There were tears and pouts and negotiations, but no bite. So, we stuck to our guns and told him he could go strait to bed from the table, with no book time. I thought for sure missing book time would be the clincher, but he held out. He went from the table to the bathroom to brush his teeth and go potty, and then to his room to get jammies on and get in his bed. (Thank goodness it wasn't too early!) I gave him some books to look at by himself while I took Morgan to have book time in my bed. Seemed to him to be a worthy sacrifice so as to avoid the mac and cheese. It didn't seem to bother him all that much after the fact since before he went to sleep he said "I like you. You're my favorite Mommy in the whole world."
Hmmm...so now what? Do we continue this routine until he tries something new? Anyone have any good strategies for getting kids to try things? Do I just let it go and serve the kid toast for the rest of his life?

A Restful Vacation

School vacation came and went without too much excitement. I really enjoyed being home and not feeling the pressure of having to leave for work in the afternoon. I spent one day just cooking some new vegetarian dishes to stick in the freezer. I made Cauliflower Cheese Pie and Lentil-Walnut Burgers. Both tasted much better than they sound. I was so proud of myself. Had a girls' night with Jennifer and watched "Secret Life of Bees" and ate DELICIOUS pizza from Upper Crust. Then, I got a yucky cold which left me useless for Thursday. But, I was glad to not have to get up and go to work. I was able to rest and get better.
Tuesday I went with my sister and the kids to visit my niece at Gordon College. It has been 10 years and I STILL get that longing to go back to college when I am on that campus. Just being in her dorm and walking through the quad and hearing her say hi to everyone and point everyone out was so fun. College life was just the best. I can't believe my 10 year reunion is coming up. Has it really been that long? I am so looking forward to going back out to Wheaton and seeing all my friends. I am thinking that the campus has probably changed alot. Will I be sad to return to a Wheaton that is not the same? Maybe. Right now I am really looking forward to it.
So, now it is back to work. I'm hoping that spring is going to come soon. I can't wait to air out the apartment and get rid of all these germs! We've had a rough winter. My pediatrician is livin' large thanks to the Bielawas this winter.
By the way, I'm reading a book called "A Severe Mercy" right now and it is really good. It's about this couple that met and fell in love before they were Christians and then went to Oxford and became Christians there and then eventually the wife gets sick and dies. That's as far as I am now, but it is a really interesting book. Especially for me, as I have been a Christian for as long as I remember. I always wonder how people come to Christ in adulthood - it is such a leap of faith. I'm anxious to see how the author's realtionship with God changed after he lost his beloved wife. He was struggling before with it. Does it get stronger or fade without her encouragement? I guess I will just have to let you know. Over and Out.
(That's how Oliver has been ending conversations lately. Either that or Amen. ie. "Mommy, I would like a drink. Amen."or "Mommy, I am going potty. Over and out.")

I know, I know

I have been sucky at blogging, I know. I'm sorry. Forgive me. Okay, now that we are over that. One of the blogs that I stumbled upon a long time ago and have been reading ever since, is So The Fish Said written by mom of two, Beth. She is so funny and I wish I could write like her and with as much frequency as she does, even with two kids. Our oldest kids are the same age, so I love being able to relate to the milestones. Anyway, she posted an interview type thing on her blog and I thought I would play along.

Ready? Here we go!

1. Remember the movie Brewster's Millions? That happens to you, except on a smaller scale. You receive a million dollars that you must spend in 30 days. However, you cannot have any assets to show for the money at the end of the month (and you can't buy something and then destroy it), you cannot waste the money, you cannot give it away, and you cannot tell anyone what you are doing. How do you ditch the dough in a month or less? I have never seen this movie. Should I? Does it count if I prepay all my bills and rent for as long as a million dollars would cover them?

2. You are locked in a toy store overnight, with no way out until it reopens in the morning. What do you play with all night? A jigsaw puzzle.

3. If you could have a dinner party with any three famous people, living or dead, you would be wasting your supernatural powers on hosting dinner parties. What would you do instead? Hmmm...I would travel back in time with my grandparents and learn about their childhoods, courtship and marriage.

4. What's the best thing since sliced bread? Now, sliced bread ain't all that impressive, so what's the best mediocre, hum-drum improvement or advancement that has made modern life just ever so slightly more convenient for humanity, along the lines of saving yourself five seconds every time you want a piece of bread. I'm going to go with cell phones here. Every time I call Joel real quick to remind him of something or to have him bail me out of an emergency, I think about what I would do without my cell phone. Seriously, what did we do without them?

5. What's your best quality? The response to this question must be a simple declarative statement. You may elaborate on that statement, provided that your elaboration does not include the words "but," "however," or "although," or any other hedging, equivocating, back-sliding, gerrymandering (which is not at all appropriate in this context, but I think it should be, don't you?) or any other type of backing down from the simple declarative statement with which you began your response. I am a good mom.

If you want to play along, too, copy and paste the questions, fill in your own answers and then let me (and Beth!) know so we can check out your answers. Fun, huh?

I'm Inspired

So, reading Sarah's blog has inspired me to plan my menu online for all of you. So, here goes:
Sunday: Ravioli with homemade sauce
Monday: Stir fry Veggies and Brown Rice
Tuesday: Tacos (We're hosting Family night, so it will be ALOT of tacos) and spanish rice
Wednesday: Vegetarian Chili and Cornbread Souffle

Okay, so I only got to Wednesday, but that's pretty good considering our schedule and eating habits. I'll be surprised if we actually go by this menu exactly because Joel has a tendency to fill up on Veggie Burgers before I get home from work at 6pm. So, I'll let you know! Off to the grocery store!

A Winter Wonderland

We have gotten so much snow this winter! Seems like every weekend we are getting something. It makes me thankful that we live where we do and are not having to go out and shovel for hours and hours. My sister and I took the kids sledding today. So much fun! Oliver loved it. Morgan, not so much. She cried the whole way down the first time and refused to go down again after that. My sister did take her down one more time, this time with real tears. After that we let her just watch. Maybe she'll be more into it next year. I was proud of Oliver's bravery - he wanted to go down all the "big boy hills". We did one really big one and he got a face full of snow the whole way down. Still had a smile under all the snow but was ready to go home after that one. I think I will be sore tomorrow. Going up all those hills and pulling the sled behind me was quite a workout. It felt good to move my old bones.

I was glad to get out and do something today. I feel like I have been in a funk lately. Not wanting to talk to anyone or see anyone or do anything. Maybe it's the winter, not enough sunlight blues. I don't know. But I do feel better today. I'm enjoying the snow and the winter, but I am ready for some sun. Makes me wish we didn't decide to take this year off from going to Florida. Even a weekend at the beach would do me good, I think. A weekend at the beach BY MYSELF would do me even better! How about you? How do you survive the winter blues?

I LOLed

Thanks to Sarah (of One More Thing From Sarah B fame) I have found a new and hilarious blog. I will be adding it to my list over yonder. It is called Stuff Christians Like and it is hilarious! Especially if you have grown up in the church. I will admit that at first, I thought it was going to be a blog of literal stuff Christians like, ie Life Application Bibles, books on disciplining your children, "Witness Wear", etc . But no, it is funny stuff! I laugh out loud almost every time I read it. I especially loved the post about Massages During Church. We all know the discomfort of having a touchy couple in front of you rubbing each others backs and necks. Eww! He captures it perfectly! Anyway, while you're waiting for me to write an interesting, witty blog, go check out this one. Thanks, Sarah!